How to make sense of the second half of once life

I was warned about the challenges of moving internationally while being pregnant and the advice was ‘Don’t move if you are pregnant’. But advice is there to be ignored, so I ended up moving internationally with every single pregnancy, which was four times round. However, there is one other challenge beside begin pregnant, which I did not know about and should never be ignored.

Moving while being pregnant was a challenge indeed, but also a reassurance. At least I knew what I was going to do in my new country while not working. I was following my husband to his new positions and had to give up my own work with the move. That I was going to work as a new mom gave me perspective, stability and usefulness. This mind set worked fine with every move and I found professional work on top of that too.

But not this last time round. While I thought it would finally be easy to move while not being pregnant, it turned out a complete crash with myself when landing in the US last Summer. No one had ever warned me about the risks of moving when turning 40!

So, here I am, recovering from the crash to my own wall of expectations and dreams. Whilst kids are in school and husband at work, I lost complete direction of what to do with myself. After my last move from Gothenburg to Brussels I had started as an independent consultant thinking I would be independent of my husband’s career and could do this work everywhere I wanted. Little was I prepared for a move to small town America without any trusted old boys and old girls network around me.

Now, jobless again but not without this ever growing ambition to make my mark professionally (I still have to do something with my blood sweat and tears acquired Masters from Edinburgh Uni at some point, right?) and a huge stress to make something of the second half of my life, I am climbing up the ladder again.

This are the steps I am taking:

  1. Work as volunteer for something I have a passion for: education and therapeutic horse riding
  2. Get a new old girls network together in my new temporary home country
  3. Update my CV – again
  4. Bundling all blessings and mistakes of my first 40 years together to create a new platform for doing better than I expected of myself
  5. Getting good sleeps after 10 years of nursing babies

With this list, I pledge to allow myself to fall upwards, but never downwards.  It is my my motto in trying to make sense of my complex life as an expat-spouse who is turning 40soon.